


Okay, Eventually

by beef_wonder3



Category: Smallville
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2096133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beef_wonder3/pseuds/beef_wonder3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark is grieving and Lois is there for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Okay, Eventually

**Author's Note:**

> For: summerofclois June Challenge
> 
> Episode/Prompt: Pariah/Silence

The barn loft was quieter than usual.

After the first try, Jonathan and Martha had given up trying to get Clark to talk. When everything they’d said had been met with Clark’s angry words and stony silence. They hadn’t made a second attempt when he’d returned from… from Smallville Cemetery.

So Clark sat alone in his loft, back against the railing. Silent.

 

Clark was mad.

Downright pissed; at himself, at his parents, at the meteor freak, Tim, at Lana and at Jason. He was just pissed at everyone and everything. It wasn’t fair to be mad at everyone else. The only one who was really to blame was himself. Alicia was dead and it was entirely his fault. He’s the one who doubted her, who wasn’t there to protect her when she needed him the most.

 

Clark brought his knees up to hug, the silence of the barn becoming bitter again as another wave of that bitterness flowed through Clark.

Why shouldn’t he be pissed? Alicia was dead and she’d been innocent. A victim in more than one way. There were so many things wrong with that, Clark didn’t know where to start. He doubted her. They all pushed and pushed and made him doubt Alicia’s innocence and Chloe had been the only one, _the only one_ , to apologize so far. His parents had nothing to say except empty words to get him to speak. Lana and Jason couldn’t even look him in the eye.

 

Chloe had helped, being there at her grave with him. It had helped knowing she was there, knowing she understood why he was hurting. He should probably tell her that. Maybe later, when he had the energy to move off the floor. Clark shifted and stretched his legs out again.

 

At least Tim couldn’t hurt anyone else, under lock and key in Belle Reve. Cradling his head in his hands, Clark’s breath hitched in shame.

Oh God, he’d almost killed the guy. Not that he doesn’t deserve all the justice he gets, but Clark remembers the red hot rage he felt. His hands wrapped around Tim’s throat. Thank God Lois had been there. She had stood there and talked him out of doing something Clark would regret for the rest of his life.

 

He probably frightened the life out of her, he should apologize for that. For making Lois talk him out of killing someone.

Clark shuddered before he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and found Lois’ name in it. His thumb hesitated over the call button.

 

What the hell was he going to say? ‘Thanks for not letting me take a guys head off’?

And why should _he_ apologize? Lois was condemning Alicia right along with Lana. Wait, no, that’s not fair. He shouldn’t be angry at them. It was his own damn fault Alicia died, that he doubted her.

 

Clark sighed in disgust and snapped the phone closed. Flinging it away, it slid across the floor before coming to rest placidly against a hay bale.

“What did the poor phone ever do to you?” said a voice coming up the stairs.

 

Clark jerked his head up to find Lois standing, uncharacteristically nervous, a few feet away.

“Hey Lois.” Clark said, looking away. His voice sounded dead to even his own ears. Dead like Alicia, whispered his brain. Clark just stared blandly at his own bare feet, stretched out before him. He could feel the tension rolling off Lois as she timidly stepped forward a little. Lois’ hesitation made Clark bristle with the unfamiliarity.

 

“I just…” Lois started, and then hesitated. At the stall in her words, Clark looked at her again. Lois looked as if she was gathering her courage to speak again. A jolt of guilt stabbed through Clark’s gut. Was she afraid of him? Oh God, he’d lost control so badly, he’d scared her. He had scared his friend.

Lois opened her mouth to speak but before she could say anything, Clark choked out,

 

“I’m sorry.” Lois looked startled at his apology but Clark didn’t notice as his babble went on, “I’m so sorry, Lois. I didn’t mean to scare you. I never lose control like that, I promise. I’m sorry, please don’t be afraid.”

 

Lois jerked into motion as Clark spoke, moving over to him and kneeling beside him. Clark’s babble ended abruptly when Lois grabbed his bicep.

“Clark, no. God no, I’m not afraid of you. You were upset, grieving. We all do stupid things when we’re grieving. Its okay, it’s okay.” Lois told him earnestly.

 

What felt like a ton of built up emotion had lodged in Clark’s chest, all he could reply with was a small,

“Oh.”

 

Lois gave him a strained half smile, trying to break the thick tension in her usual way by telling him,

“Besides, I know plenty of Soldiers a helluva lot scarier than plain ol’ farm boys.”

 

Clark didn’t smile back though, too many thoughts, too much pressure in his chest, too much of a burn behind his nose.

 

Lois bit her lip before talking seriously, her hand still on Clark’s arm,

“I just came to say that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that Alicia’s… that Alicia is gone and I’m so sorry that I didn’t believe her or you. I’m… I’m sorry.” Lois finished awkwardly.

 

Clark had to look away again. Lois’ apology, the sincerity in her voice, broke something in him, snapped the thing that had been holding everything back. Clark closed his eyes and felt hot tears slide down his cheeks. He couldn’t stop them as they finally welled and flowed over his eyelashes.

 

~

 

Lois swallowed nervously. She’d never seen Clark like this before. Granted, they hadn’t known each other very long but it still felt strange to see him crying instead of huffing annoyingly at her or snarking back like usual.

 

He wasn’t sobbing, he just sat there silently, his head turned away from her as endless tears streaked down his face. Lois looked around for a second. Usually Chloe was better at the empathy and comforting and other touch-feely stuff; but Chloe wasn’t here right now. Lois was and Clark needed some serious comfort.

 

How do you empathize with a guy whose ex-stalker/girlfriend was unfairly framed then murdered?

Finally spotting what she had been looking around for, Lois leapt up to grab the box of tissues from Clark’s desk. Clark didn’t move from where he was, eyes leaking, breath hitching every few seconds.

Lois scurried back to her previous position, tissue box in hand, this time sitting next to Clark, her back against the rails too.

 

Lois set the box between them and grabbed Clark’s hand, entwining their fingers together.

At Lois’ hand holding, Clark finally looked at her again. Lois’ heart broke a little as his obvious pain filled Clark’s pretty green eyes with tears. The desperately guilty expression almost too much to take, and definitely too easy to read.

 

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered to him. Clark started to shake his head to deny that but Lois cupped his cheek with her free hand and squeezed Clark’s hand with the other.

“It’s not.” She told him fiercely, “It’s not your fault that Tim was a psycho and he was such a coward that he needed a scapegoat. You couldn’t have known. It’s not your fault.” Lois finished with conviction.

 

Tears still streamed down Clark’s cheeks as he swallowed,

“Thank you.” He damn near sobbed as he gripped the hand Lois had wrapped around his. Lois gave him a tight smile as she stroked her thumb over his.

 

~

 

Clark looked down again, to the box in between them. He grabbed a tissue and scrubbed at the tear tracks drying on his face as he sniffled. Fresh tears replaced the scrubbed ones almost immediately and Clark gave up, realizing he wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, now that the dam had finally burst.

 

Oddly enough, Clark didn’t feel embarrassed crying in front of Lois. Well, okay, maybe a little embarrassed, but not as much as he thought he would be. Lois being here was nice. It helped; like the way it had helped when Chloe was there with him at the cemetery.

 

Feeling a little self-conscious but wanting the contact more, Clark shifted so he could rest his head on Lois’ shoulder as he continued to cry. The only response Clark felt was Lois squeezing his hand a little tighter, as if to say; ‘it’s okay’ without saying anything at all. And maybe it could be. It could be okay. _He_ could be okay, eventually.

 

Clark sniffed again, letting the new silence of the barn wash over him. The silence had been an enemy before, harsh and painful. A taunt. But now as Clark quietly let everything go, his head resting on Lois’ shoulder, his hand clasped in her strong, smaller one, the silence was now a comfort. A warmth telling him that he could… that he would be okay, eventually.

 

Fin.

 


End file.
